Someone else shares my feelings about Zooey Deschanel!!!

  • Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
  • Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
  • Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
  • Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
  • Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
  • Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
  • Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
  • Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
  • Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
  • Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
  • Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
  • Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
  • Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
  • Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
  • Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
  • Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.

dying right now :) 

(via bretticus2424)

Oh, sir! I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff. Did you not tip them?

(via hermaynee)

hermaynee:

kayleyhyde:

I will believe in anything if, when I die, I am reunited with every dog I’ve ever had in my life. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LIFE (er, death) IT WOULD BE. 

if this isn’t what happens i want a refund.

<333333333

hermaynee:

kayleyhyde:

I will believe in anything if, when I die, I am reunited with every dog I’ve ever had in my life. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LIFE (er, death) IT WOULD BE. 

if this isn’t what happens i want a refund.

<333333333

miguel-perezident:

yeah. this usually happens to me when i even have two open.
I NEED MORE RAM. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO WORK IN LIKE PHOTOSHOP AND ILLUSTRATOR BETTER.
I JUST WANT TO WORK ON MY COMPUTER MUCH MORE SIMPLY.
yes.

miguel-perezident:

yeah. this usually happens to me when i even have two open.

I NEED MORE RAM. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO WORK IN LIKE PHOTOSHOP AND ILLUSTRATOR BETTER.

I JUST WANT TO WORK ON MY COMPUTER MUCH MORE SIMPLY.

yes.

trollfacecomic:

Rage Comics in Real Life

(via mayorxrab)

unlikelywords:

Dandelion (by Sam Breach)

Ignoring the cold and homework by looking at fountains&#8230; your argument is invalid, winter. 

unlikelywords:

Dandelion (by Sam Breach)

Ignoring the cold and homework by looking at fountains… your argument is invalid, winter. 

fuckingtothestorysofar:

lol, this fucking video 

Bahahahahahaha

(via hermaynee)

LOVE it :D 
yes, I am a total tool and have been searching tags for the last 20 minutes! 
lava lamps&lt;3 

LOVE it :D 

yes, I am a total tool and have been searching tags for the last 20 minutes! 

lava lamps<3 

(via somebodyousedtokn0w-deactivated)

(via treehugga)